glitterwaxstars

Moved

Thu, 21 Jun 2007 00:48:28 GMT

http://beccabites.livejournal.com/

see you there!

Friends

Sun, 08 Apr 2007 12:50:13 GMT

I am really fucking happy with my friend atm.
I've never felt so content with my self any my surroundings.
It's been ever since I spoke to Frank and Bob, things haven't necessarily got better in my life, I'm still failing at school, I'm not even talking to my dad anymore, and my mom's still pissing me off.
Maybe it's the sun? Idk but I've had so many omg-I-love-my-friends-so-much moments lately.
And it's not just that, I think I'm finnaly becoming happy with my apperance. My clothes, my make up, my style. My hair? That still needs alot of work. If I were tbh I'd want like UBER CYBER GOTH hair, multicolourd dreads, plastic tubing, lots of shit, but that's never ever going to happen lol. I'm still working on my style too, I'm trying to stop buying all the pretty vest tops from H & M and wearing thoose with my black skinnies, studded belt and converse. The other day I wore some cropped jeans with long strippy socks and I thought it looked cool but my sister was like "wtf r u werin!!1!?!!".......... but then again, she is a chav.
I'm so excited for college, I'm going to make even more friends. I'll obviously keep the ones I have, the really amazing ones; Clarissa, Izzy, Rachel and Dani. I wish I could put Vicki in that list, but I'm rapidly going off her, she's a compulsive liar and I can not stand it.
I met loads of kids at MCR too, hopefully they will become good friends, I saw them in town yesterday.
I'm really happy with my online friends too. My online life means alot to me, I know it's a computer screen, but it's like a whole new world isn't it? When things offline arn't going great I can lose myself online, and visa-versa. Plus I think it's easier to type than talk lol. How lazy.
I'm starting to re-kindle lost friendships (you know who you are) Me and Rachel are closer than ever. I've met Kayla and she's just fucking awesome. Hopefully I'm meeting Molly again in the near future. Hopefully I'm meeting Julia in the summer. She better fucking come I swear to god I've waited two years for this.
Me and Midge arn't doing so good =/ Idk what it is, and it's really bugging me, I think I just have to try harder, so if you're reading this Midge, I'm sorry, I still love you.
Back to offline, I'm so glad Belle is out my life, I just wish she would get out Izzy's now. This is another long, long story. Bascially, me and Belle fell out for good and now she's upsetting Iz her "best friend" by being a general dickhead and she's starting to talk to Clarissa and Vicki more (and she hates Vicki) so I'm thinking she's doing the latter to get at me. Which is pathetic because the only time I talk about her is when Izzy is talking to me about all the bullshit.
I've given up on Beth. I gave her so many chances to say sorry. I even practially forgave her, but I'm not walking all the way, she has to meet me at least half way.
Apart from that, I'm really happy, and I can't remeber a time I've been happier in my life. And I really really like it lol.
Oh, and I've started writting, I'm writting a vampire story atm, I love it, even if I say so myself. I love writting.
Oh, and I think I'm imporving my music taste slightly.

First proper up date yes?

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 20:03:10 GMT

So.
Hi.
*insert all the usual bullshit about wondering if anyone will read this here*
Do you not fucking hate it when you do sometihng, and you just know at the time you'll regret it afterwards, but you carry on doing it 'cause this time it will be different?
Well, I did that last night. I sent someone a horrible text and omg I'm such a dickhead fucking hell. I mean, I genuannly(fucking sp) ment what I wrote in it. And the one afterwards, but I have no idea why I sent it? I mean, now, I can't listen to this persons favourite band, any of "our" songs, or any songs that remind me of her (and fuck that's alot of my playlist gone). I'm so terrifyed that she hates me right now, I asked her and she didn't text back, but I'm hopingthat she doesn't have credit, and isn't just ignoring/hating me. I'm so scared to log onto msn to see what she says, if she says anything at all, so I'm not. I've had to block out thoughts of her and it all day, so I don't lose my head (I love using lyrics in my writting, I do it in essays too, and they work.) 'cause man, if I'd been thinking about this all day I wouldn't have got through it lol.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Or am I the only moron that does it? It's not good for me, it's not good for her. I guess it's my way of opening up, but oh, of course I have to go and be all dramatic about it and potentional ruin a really good relationship.
Sometmies being overdramatic and over emotional can be a good thing. Like, if I'm writting something I can make people cry, or really happy. Or if I'm debating I can dramatise it, making it look like I care, even if I don't.
Actually, I've been upsetting alot of people in the last few days. I'm putting it down to being on, but it's probably not that.
Sorry, I keep looking at Frank smiling in my icon and it's just so beautiful lol, I can't stay sad when I have him to stare at, srsly pfft.
Anyway.
I had a proper physical fight with my sister last night. It was horrible, I was enjoying hurting her wtf. But she deserved it. She really did. People say to me "oh you love her deep down" and you know what? I fucking do not. I hate hate hate physical contact with her, I won't hug her, and if she kisses me it makes me feel physically sick. Omg this is so fucked up, but if I was a lonely child, I think I would cry about.... an 1/8 of what I do now. I think about the times I cry, and 80% of the time, she is directly involved and 10% she is indirecetly involved. The other 10% is self pity lolz.
Also, I fought with Julia twice in two days over the weekend. I mean what the fucking hell? Me and Julia just don't fight. Thoose two fight probably made up 50% of arguments we've had in the two years I've known her, seriously, it's just not something we make allowences for in our relationship.
So enough about conflict, happy news. Today I had my first day of Work Experience and it didn't suck! Everyone said it would, but they were wrong. I'm working in the body shop, and there are two kids that work there too. Well I say kids, one is 18 and one is in Uni, but they are so cool omg. They both have their lips peirced and other various percings. They are into decent music and they hate chavs and "ghetto" people <3 They are easy to talk to and stuff. Also, I can just use the make up in there when ever I want lol. So if my hands are feeling a bit dry, I'll just pick up a pot of coco butter and use it. Or if my mascara has come off, I can just reapply it with some of their's, it's brilliant lol. And the customers are nice too, 'cause it's the body shop like, most of them are shopping there to be enviromentally friendly and help prevent cruelty to animals and stuff. Steriotyping but w/e lol.
Shit I wrote lots, but I'm not even done.
So lol, I think I may be bisexual. (Haha how random). Not bi-curious, not jumping on the bandwagon, not experimental. I mean, I look at some girls and think, fuck me she's hot, I'd like to kiss her. But it's not just that, I can see myself holding hands with girls, and being romantic with them and stuffs. At first I thought maybe I'm a lesbian and I was like YAY then people won't think I'm just trying to me another emo loser, but then I look at guys and just omg they are so fit.
Everyone knows I fancy Hayley Williams, but even straight girls fancy her, so it's not something that people would think humm about.
THERE IS THIS THING THATS LIKE FUCKING EXCEPT YOU DONT FUCK. I really love this song, I love My Alcoholic Friends too. I love DD lol, thankyou Julia for giving them to me. I remeber when I first heard Coin-Opeerated Boy and I was like.. wtf is this? It was so weird lol, but getting into the Dresden Dolls has opened my mind to try new stuffs, and not just listen to what I'm supose to. Like, Murder By Death, if I never got into DD I wouldn't have dreamed about listening to Murder By Death, and omg, I wouldn't have told anyone I love Justin Timberlake haha <3 He's amazing and so fit.
So wow fuck me, I wrote loads.
Now I'm going back to my bean bag to listen to music in the dark, true emo style.

eh eh EH?

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 03:35:12 GMT

Like omzz I got LJ (=

I had one before, but I didn't really like the name ick.

LOOK HOW PREETY MY LAYOUT IS =D Thank you Premade LJs (= (link be in my links it be)

I got LJ cause I don't want a website anymore, and look! Who needs a website when LJ is around? Huuum? It''s so pretty (= I think I found a new love.

So anyway, I need to figgure out how to delete thoose *points to ugly posts below*.

BUT FOR NOW I must go to bed, as I set my alarm to go off in 1 and half hours so I can revise for some shitty mock I have in the morning lol.

Mucho loveo.

Becca xx

Ps. If you're from CCmb <3 ADD ME =D And tell me if other people have it too (= Thank you lovelys.